whoredinarygirl:

anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”

(Source: whoredinarygirl)

bookofrevelation:

slightly older female friends are truly a force for good in this world

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

  •  Aoba, the last dick bender

duckktective:

jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy 

(Source: dramaticleaves)