It doesn’t cost a damn thing. 

Sprinkle that shit everywhere.


I use humor to cover up the fact that I want to jump off a bridge


gaining followers at the speed of something really slow


i hate teachers who dont let u go to the bathroom because “too many people went already” like yea but none of those people were me and our bladders arent connected so just because they peed already doesnt mean i dont have to pee anymore


People who have a superiority complex based on their enjoyment of vintage music or books are some of the most annoying people in the world and if I ever hear you ridiculing someone just because they may not enjoy listening to the beatles whilst reading to kill a mockingbird and sipping a cup of hibiscus green tea i will literally come to your house and staple your nipples to your elbows 


things i’m okay with: white male protagonists

things i’m not okay with: literally every protagonist being a white male protagonist

  • Waitress: do you have any questions about the menu?
  • Me: what kind of font is this?


i wish noah had swatted the two mosquitoes from his ark

(Source: sadden)